I've had this question for awhile and I don't think I have a good answer yet.
What is the difference between taking care of yourself and being selfish?
I think it is important that we each fill up our tank so that we have something to give others. It is important to take care of ourselves and not neglect ourselves while taking care of others. But where is the line? When does taking care of yourself turn into being selfish? Are there some that will call you selfish when you feel like you are taking care of yourself?
I would love to hear your feedback on this. I'm sure I'll post again as an answer forms in my life.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Thoughts on Thursday...What's the difference?
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5 comments:
The only thought that came to me while reading this was that I think it has to do with your perspective and reasons for doing what you do. If you truly need 2 hours a day to yourself to function in your roll as a mother and wife then that would be taking time for yourself. Whereas some would only need a girls night once a month. I don't know if that even makes sense, but I think it really has to do with your attitude, maybe thinking that you "deserve" some time to yourself would be more on the selfish side... I think I'm starting to ramble. But that is a very interesting question and I would like to hear more peoples thoughts on it.
I wish I had some answers... I am looking forward to learning this too. Somedays I do feel selfish and other days I am so empty I am worthless so where is that balance. I'll let you know if I get any good insite on this one.
I think selfishness is when you think always of yourself first and put yourself first without consideration of the feelings of or impact on others. I would even say that selfish actions can be detrimental to others. I also tend to think of selfishness in terms of stinginess--unwilling to give of means or time because you don't want to.
Taking care of yourself is different to me because it allows you to be a kinder, happier, more helpful person. It is not out of stinginess, but out of necessity that you take care of yourself--everyone needs time to themselves.
darn good question. I have been thinking about this lately too. I think that taking time for me each day is what i have to do to feel like I am not going to lose control. I feel like I am the kind of person that has to have some "me" time each day so I don't feel empty. I think it turns selfish when you need to be doing something for your family members, but you choose to do something for you. I think it is all about finding a balance. It is different to me if I am choosing about a child that needs my attention vs me time or the dishes/laundry that need my attention vs me time. anyway, let me know if you figure it out!
Stephanie and I came across this talk along these lines: http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=7722
Very interesting perspective from M. Catherine Thomas and worth a read and discussion with your spouse.
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