The past few weeks have brought a large range of emotions. On Sunday December 13th, our bishop asked to see me. It had been a hard week and an especially hard Sunday morning (church at 2PM can be rough). I got ready for church that day, drove the family to church and then went back home. Something was said on the way there that triggered a mess of emotions I had been holding in. I knew I couldn't go to church and hold it together at all. I couldn't pretend like everything was ok when it really wasn't. The bishop found Bob at church and told him that he needed to see me about a change in callings. (The week before, they had asked me to be a primary teacher so it seemed odd that they had something different but also right at the same time. Being called as a primary teacher hadn't felt right to me all week.) They set up a time for the bishop to come over that evening.
To say we were shocked when Bishop Allen extended the call to me to be the Primary president is an understatement. We were floored. Really? Me? Now? Do you know that our house is still under construction? Do you know that things are rocky with our marriage? Really???? Me? Now? The bishop talked with us for a long time. We talked through our concerns. He offered some advice and encouragement. He told us how the bishopric came to know that this was the calling for me after kneeling together in prayer over the matter. I accepted the call and his confidence in me. I feel honored and humbled that God has asked this of me right now.
As has happened at other times in my life when a calling truly came from God, the ideas and inspiration immediately started flowing. I spent the next few days thinking about and praying about who my counselors and secretary should be. I felt good about 3 women and presidency callings for them. I took off work one day to go to the temple. Bob and I had the best week of feeling connected emotionally and spiritually that we've had in a long time. I
Fast forward a couple of weeks. Christmas, New Years, being officially sustained as the Primary president and the first Sunday under my belt.
I was feeling totally overwhelmed. I took these pictures at the end of the day on Monday Jan. 4.
Piles of dirty laundry on the living room floor that never got washed over the long weekend.
Piles of clean laundry waiting to be wrinkle-released, folded, hung and put away.
A dinner table that never got cleaned off all the way. Remnants of a dinner that Parker cooked because he saw that his parents were not going to do the job.
Mounds of dirty dishes in the sink.
Messy master bedroom.
More master bedroom mess.
The current state of our master bathroom. (There are actually larger holes in the concrete now in preparation for rerouting all the plumbing this week.)
Boxes and stacks of pictures that need to be hung next to a wall that needs to be repainted and a dress that will need to be hand washed.
More pictures. It was great that we cleaned our garage over Christmas break but it does mean that these pictures are no longer in boxes in the garage. Where to hang them? What pictures to put in them?
The chair that I started to make a slipcover for over Thanksgiving break that has not been touched since then. Christmas books that need to be put away.
Paper that Sage lovingly cut up and left for me.
All the supplies from the half bath that Caden was supposed to clean that day. He removed these items and then did nothing else.
A fridge that is not exactly empty (close) but void of any combination of ingredients to make meals that week. When am I going to go to the store?
And Primary stuff. Next week's sharing time lesson.
Materials that I have been given and need to sort through, etc.
Everything felt big that night and hopeless and overwhelming. There may have been some things in my life that I wanted to give up on or quit.
But that feeling didn't last. God is good! He lifts me up. He gives me a new day and new perspective. I woke up the next morning and was able to tackle most of these messes. I set aside working on Primary for a couple of days. I tried out some new ways of doing laundry that hopefully will work better with these added responsibilities. I was promised in a blessing last week that I would still be able to do all the things I need to do just maybe in different ways. I am seeing the blessings of that already.
I am really excited about this new calling. We have 130 fun, smart, cute kids to work with. My counselors and secretary are great. I am excited to work with them and get to know them better. There has been opposition so far and I'm sure there will be more in the future. Today I am feeling hopeful. The hard days don't last forever! I was promised in another blessing that this calling would be a blessing to my family and that my service would be a blessing to these Primary kids. I believe that is true.
I am remembering today that the first week after a break or vacation is ALWAYS hard. I already feel more prepared and capable this week. Our dinner menu is planned and I'm already on track to actually cook for my family every day this week. The pantry and fridge are full and the clothes are clean. (I will fold as I did last week in the afternoons while watching Fixer Upper and Property Brothers on HGTV). I am feeling more hopeful about our plan to work on the master bathroom and actually get it done. Life is good! God is good!
